Pacing

So the past few weeks, I have been in my head a lot. I feel like i have questioned just about every feeling or thought. I have dived into asking myself harder questions and seeking answers. It’s been good but also hard. It’s hard to be vulnerable with yourself. I’ve battled with never being content. I always want to be 10 steps ahead.

Contentment… this is a difficult word for me. I’m always pushing to be better internally so I want my external life to be better too. But the Lord has been speaking to me about contentment. My idea that once I have enough money or once I’m married or once I travel the world, then I’ll be content…is wrong. Being content in all things is the cornerstone for joy and peace. It comes from a place of gratefulness that fills the desires. I have so much to be thankful for and focusing on that has been so important.

So I am training for a sprint triathlon (swim, bike, run). This morning I went for a long swim and as i swim I will often talk to God. I was starting to get frustrated that my swimming pace wasn’t faster. As I am beating myself up about not training hard enough, I felt the Lord say to me “The only way to finish your race is by keeping a pace that is sustainable. If you go as hard as you can, then you won’t be able to finish the race well. There is more self-discipline needed to keep your pace than to sprint beyond your capacity” This may seem like a simple idea but I started thinking about every area of my life where I get frustrated about my pace. I compare myself to those around me, wishing I was at their pace. But today I was reminded that my race is my own. God sets the pace for my life and I have the choice of running it or trying to outrun it. Pacing yourself = contentment. Sprinting = burnout.

There’s a beautiful thing about finding your pace. You can swim with ease but also determination. You’re continually moving forward but at a speed that is best for you. It’s tempting to look into other lanes but ultimately that isn’t your race. There is no competition. Run YOUR race. Let your heart be grateful for where you’re at.