The power of the mind is strong but my God is stronger.
My therapist describes life as a continual game of whack-a-mole. Once you think you have overcome one thing another issue pops up.
This could not be more accurate…. at least for me.
My God has helped me defeat depression and any thoughts of suicide. It has been almost 2 years since my second attempt and I am not medicated AND have not struggled with any depression. God has RESTORED my life and has brought so much joy.
However, I am on the war path to becoming more Christlike. This means that there are other areas of myself that need to be conquered.
The most recent issue that I am having to deal with is REJECTION. And more specifically rejection from people….. sigh….. this process is hard to walk through.
God has highlighted this issue to me in the past few months. I am so fearful of rejection that I reject people first. I don’t even give them a chance because I want to barricade myself from any chance at getting hurt.
Rejection is a trend that started back when I was a little girl and has followed me throughout my life. Girls telling me I was ugly and couldn’t play with them. Guys telling me that I had the best personality but just didn’t make the cut physically . A family member that screamed at me if I ate a second bread stick at Olive Garden. The list could go on and on and on. These moments in my life I can relive as if they happened yesterday. Tears well up in my eyes and the pain from those moment flood back to my memory.
Rejection. An inevitable bullet wound that happens in the battle field of life. ALL of us will be rejected by someone. Jesus, a perfect innocent man, was rejected and crucified by the very people he saved.
I’m in the trenches of the war zone. I can see the enemy firing from the other side. Randomly I’m hit with a bullet that says”Something is wrong with you. No one likes you. Look at what has happened before it will happen again. Hide” I have a choice to make either let that bullet wound become so infected that it kills me OR pick up my weapon and fight.
This is my weapon. The TRUTH of God’s Word.
I will not allow the OPINION of man to trump the TRUTH of God.
When we allow God’s truth to fight for us then His healing oil will pour out over our wounds from the world. The oil seeps into the most painful parts and causes the inflammation and pain to cease and healing begins.
This is the daily war I am facing. The Devil has given up trying to take my life so he is trying to take my identity. My God has already won this war for me and now I have to walk out the process of learning to walk in victory that He has already given me. THIS IS HARD.
My beautiful Father, I thank you for this painful learning process. Thank you for showing me an area of my life that needs your healing oil. Thank you for the work you are already doing in me. Thank you for your truth. Thank you for always loving and accepting me. I’m yours forever.
– Annabelle
ALifeWorthLiving 